PROUD TO BE A WORK IN PROGRESS

Disclaimer: I wrote the below as a feature for a local organization called Women’s Work in Progress. Before getting into it, I would just like to say a heartfelt *thank you* for reading and supporting my blog. I am overjoyed by the amount of feedback I have received from people sharing similar experiences. And I am humbled by the writers, far more experienced than I, who have commented, followed, and encouraged along the way. You keep this tired mom going!🌺

In 2019 I moved to the suburbs with my husband, infant son, and two dogs. I had a successful yet uninspiring career in accounting, and thought this was what my life would be until I retired. Then 2020 happened.

Betweeen meeting work deadlines during toddler naps, and struggling to gain the trust of a manager who reluctantly approved remote work, I was burning the candle, not just at both ends, but in the middle and all around.

Overanxious and underslept, writing was my salvation. Through writing, I was able to cope with an unrelenting year, and eventually, reconnect with a community similarly in need of healing.

With empathy-promotion in mind, I created BelievableShe.com. A blog where I write to encourage women (and myself) to discover their rightful identity by confronting and sharing difficult truths. Over several weeks and sleepness nights, the support of readers energized my passion project and I became hooked.

My creative outlet brought inspiration back into my life, and there was no going back. Deciding to commit more of my life to writing, I made the leap, shelved my “successful” day job, and took an evening position as a restaurant server. In short, I am a post-pandemic work in progress, and proud.

WHO DO YOU LOOK LIKE?

I will always remember the bright Florida day that my best friend and I decided to spread out a blanket to hang out and read our new teeny-bopper magazines. We were still middle school preteens, and we especially loved the quizzes that would answer our burning questions about grown-up things like crushes and makeup.

Now, I don’t remember whether or not my crush was predicted to ask me to the dance, but I do remember one question. “Which celebrity do you most look like?”

My friend was a dead ringer for Full House’s adorable DJ Tanner, but I was at a complete loss. Trying to be helpful, my friend suggested, “Christina Ricci, maybe?” True, Christina and I shared the same first name, and her hair was brown, but the comparisons definitely stopped there.

The crazy thing is, Christina Ricci might have been the closest thing to a celebrity look-alike that I had back then.

I was a frizzy-haired girl mixed with my mom’s Mediterranean dark waves and my dad’s Filipino/Mexican brown skin. If I could have come up with a single young Latina or Pacific Island-looking actress, they would have been a passable response. But not a one came to mind.

Obviously, I understand that a teenage magazine quiz is not to be taken seriously. However, this simple question resulted in one of my earliest memories of feeling inadequate due to lack of representation.

Conscious or not, I knew that our culture celebrated light-skinned girls on TV. After all, they were the ones that were most often depicted as living in nice two-parent homes, being popular in school, and getting the boy.

At an impressionable age when self-worth is so fragile, this was just another obstacle blocking the view of potential. After all, representation matters.

Fortunately, we are gradually progressing as a society. From Disney to politics, women of color are appearing in leading roles more and more. And, because of this, fewer and fewer girls will have feelings of inferiority because of who they see in the mirror.

So today, on this International Women’s Day, let’s take a moment to celebrate the women breaking through society’s outdated racial barriers. Their perseverance will certainly have a positive effect for generations to come.