LIVING WHILE WAITING

Today, the residents of Minnesota’s Twin Cities are living while waiting, myself included.

Collectively, and regardless of what outcome we’re individually anticipating, we are waiting for a jury of our peers to decide if a police officer is guilty of murder.

Simultaneously, while wondering what world we’ll be living in after the results are read, we are waiting to find out what precedent for accountability will be set and what chaos will ensue.

Will sleepless nights of riotous noise, indistinguishable from gunfire and bombs, return to our communities? Will our black neighbors have to continue living in fear of a traffic violation? Will all law officers continue to be judged upon the actions of those who, without consequence, abuse their power?

So, with all of this waiting going on, I can’t help but wonder, how is everyone managing? What action or inaction is appropriate right now? What do we do while we wait and wonder? How do we combat feelings of helplessness?

As comforting as our morning beds are before we’ve accepted the realities of our day, it’s just not practical to maintain that blissful state of ignorance. We need to figure it out. We need to earn a living. We have to keep going.

So we fight through the fog of living in limbo and manage.

Some, terrified that their livelihood is in jeopardy, are managing by boarding the windows of their businesses. Activists, hoping to influence the outcome, are managing by marching for action in the streets. While others are ignoring the news, but managing by quietly praying for peace from their homes.

How do you manage to carry on while waiting for a life changing event? Do you mentally prepare by obsessively researching online articles? Do you pray? Do you live in avoidance and just stay busy at all costs?

No judgement here. Because what am I doing? I’m sitting at home, hanging out with my toddler, and struggling to wrap my mind around what is morally appropriate to write about today.

The only conclusion that I can come up with is the fact that there really is no wrong way to survive limbo. We just have to do it. To put it plainly, limbo sucks, and it’s a confusing place to exist.

So keep fighting, keep preparing, keep managing. Just keep living while waiting.